deviantHobo

Hello Darkness, my dear old friend. I sit alone, late yet early fleeting thoughts of mortality throbbing in my head like a migraine. A sickly sweet scent of beer still on my breath, been weeks since I last heard from you, now you crawl back into my bed like we hung out an hour ago. Darkness, you sweet seductress, pulling me back with those deep thoughts and soft heartbeats. Playing my own fears like a track on your favorite album. Death and dying on repeat in my mind. Your warm body cuddled up next to me, unwanted yet I can't help but hold you. Darkness, my favorite mistake, a quick glance and I'm yours again. Sitting awake, forever just for

I yearn to hold your hand, so tiny I shake as I reach towards it. So far away but I would bleed to be closer. Close enough to see your eyes, mirrors of my soul, close enough to see your smile as you see me. I do not think you'd smile, fear would fill your eyes. You would see me as I am, a monster without a reason. I yearn to see you, even for a moment to look upon you and know I have done good and right. I am so afraid of you, that you are too far away from me. I fear that what I have done is not right, not just. I fear for you, to live a life without me, or with me. I am afraid of the fence I sit upon, afraid of either side I could jump to.

I am best know not for my words but as my words. Text thrown across a page like blood splatter on the wall. Able to be seen and interpreted but never known, clear glass fogged by confusion. Able to be ignored or observed. Able to be forgotten or recalled. I am best as words, they never fail me, always bounding from my mind onto pages like faithful dogs ready for the journey ahead. My words are my fire and with them I could burn the world, but I love to hold my flame. I am best as simply words, paragraphs to describe the world I see, sentences to calm my hectic mind. Able to be erased or chiseled into stone. I am best as only words, I cannot f

Only an hour later he stirred sitting up and looking out the window at the bright sky. She had let him sleep on his own as usual. He felt restless as if he'd just been running, as if he'd just been scared but he remembered nothing and didn't feel anything but hungry. When had he last eaten? What time was it? He got up knowing she had left for work, he noticed the book on the table her bookmark in between a few pages he never disturbed her place, he knew every word in the books she read, even the ones not by him. He had given her every book she owned, first editions of his own work all hand signed at the start. He knew she'd never sell them, h

Hours past in sleepless seconds for Susan, night turned to dawn, which became day. She awoke alone in a bed for two, she knew he would not be there. She knew he was lying to her; he was doing it out of love he didn't want her to worry, but she did. She got up stretching and rubbing her eyes. After showering and dressing she left the master bedroom and walked through the halls towards the another room that she called the cave. When she entered all the lights were off and the windows covered with black out curtains, the only light shed in the room was from a single computer monitor which shed an eerie glow on Susan's husband who was busy writin

Sweat and tears running down my bloodied body, my lungs chained with agony denying me breath. My heart beating, pushing my life from my open wounds. Desperation fills my eyes as I stare up at you, unable to feel anything but misery. I cannot understand, will not understand how you can cut me so deeply, wound me so profoundly. Cannot deny your power over my mind, cannot deny your enslavement of my heart. Never reciprocated, never reflected off you I pump my love at you but all you do is slice away my soul. A plastic surgeon attempting to make me what I'm not, trying to deny me my inner self. My love is just for you, and if I must lose myself,

Every moment frozen in time, embraced in a frozen wonderland. No chill is felt, only warmth. Seconds dance into minutes as we lay, uncaring to the world around us, so perfectly together like two matched pieces to a simple puzzle. How easy it is to simply look at you, how easy it is to simply talk to you. Corrupted in all the right ways, so harmoniously dark and wicked. Each bite a spark of ecstasy, every scratch a rush of adrenaline. How easily you can manipulate me, how willingly malleable I am for only you. Oh you, my one true love. Oh you, my one addiction. Oh you, the one that made me who I am. Oh you, the one I can never see through. The

A sense of self, lost in the cold winter wind. Blown snow hiding the truth, how was I so blinded? A hand to glass the chill taking my breath but it's your beauty that never let me draw it back in. Seeing you through the storm I can make out every beautiful line, but my mind is yearning for a flaw; none is found. Feeling weak, feeling like I walked a thousand miles to get to you. Fallen on the ground crying out for you, but only those who shoved the knife in my back come to my aid. Enemies wearing masks of friends, friends pretending to be enemies. Confusion the true name of the snow, doubt the truth behind the glass. My heart yearns to let me

Laying awake, not from the pain, but from the fear of what tomorrow brings. Living in the same day, feeling around the same places blind as a flash-banged soldier. Fear for what my dreams will reveal, death is only the beginning of my pains. Insomnia derived from a deeper darkness, every moment I'm asleep even while awake. The culture fueling every whim of the rebel, drugs and suicide the only escape left, sleep cannot release me any longer. Smoke billowing from my skin, just another day in my waking nightmare, just another day of delirious rambling. Drugs in my veins thicker then blood, blood in my brain fueling the fire of brain-death. Shad